You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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