with your own penis?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We are two peas in an std pod
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
