If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
