Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
ttyl tear gas
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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