Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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