I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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