Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
