google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
A bitchslap is in order.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
