Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize