So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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