According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
