Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
