I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
