Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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