Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
