so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
