Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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