Porn is love you can see.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i love accidental penises.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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