it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
