ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
