I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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