he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
