I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
