he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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