If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
