I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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