There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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