i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
