He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
