My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
