You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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