Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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