I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize