I faked an abortion last night.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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