dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize