just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize