Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
