make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
