no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I love black thongs
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How does one acquire holy water?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
