What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
