Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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