Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
