I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
