you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He? As in you personified your dick?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
