I wish life had little blips of pornography
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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