Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He has the fingertips of a God
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
