My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Also, beer. Big fan.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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