My sheets look like a crime scene.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
