found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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