Pappa wants mamma naked
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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