You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
