we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
