You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
