doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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