I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
