I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize