You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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