i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize