a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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