Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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