I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
