OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
