have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
