walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
